This is not the upbeat, super happy way I wanted to start this blog, but hey, that's OK. I miss my sweet FG and she has been sick most of this week and I want to start this blog for her before yet another birthday comes and goes! So she comes back to me tomorrow after school and although that is less than 20 hours from now....it seems like way way way too long a period of time to have to wait to wrap my arms around her. You see, she called me twice tonight and she was crying each time and telling me how much she misses me. I know, because I have experienced the same, that when someone is sick that they want to be with the person that gives them the warmest and safest physical comfort the waiting seems unbearable. I know that because even at the age of 43 years old, when I am super sick and exhausted and just feel miserable, the place I want to be is in the loving arms of someone I know that really cares for me and who will let me weep and nestle into their arms and not hush my discomfort away but let it gradually leave me and be replaced with peace and calm and warmth and finally sacred sleep. Early in my marriage I had that in the arms of my husband on the rare occasions when I was really ill. I've mourned that loss in recent years when I have been sick and exhausted and a soft pillow was not what my body wanted. I remember the deep chasm of loneliness and longing I had physically felt in my early 20's and my teenage years and adolescence when I was at a similar place of just feeling terrible and my body literally aching for the comfort of a loving embrace and a place to rest my throbbing head. I wonder if that longing is universal? Is it a Mommy thing? Hum??? For me I feel like it is actually more of a Daddy thing. My Dad was a really big guy with a big belly and chest and the times when I was able to really relax with my head on his chest (really only when I was very sick and none of my siblings were sick at the same time) I remember with complete bliss. Feeling the warmth of his chest soothing my sore ear or swollen glands and or raw scratchy throat.... better than any OTC med out there! Being slowly cradled in the rhythm of his breathing as his chest rised and fell and the low muffled sound of his heartbeat was exactly what my body and soul needed to relax and let go enough to drift into dreamland. I prayed with FG tonight on the phone and I continue to pray now that God, Our Father, will wrap His loving arms around her and rock her to sleep on His chest, in His warmth. I know He will hear this Momma's prayer. I love you FG. Sweet dreams Honey.
